I wanted to share a note with you that I made and ask for feedback from anyone with a high IQ that might be able to help. On Wednesday night I had a work function. I had 6 or 7 drinks (I don’t heavily drink often, perhaps once a year). I realized yesterday what it’s like to ‘not’ have ADHD. The morning after drinking I experienced the following;
My hungover self
- I can listen to what people say and take it all in.
- There is no anxiety when talking to people. I am singular focused.
- I have a memory that works.
- I can store and retrieve thoughts easily.
- There is no hyper thinking.
- I can absorb where it is I’m walking and driving. I don’t get lost. I don’t need a GPS. My wife and I went for a walk in the city. I lead us back to the hotel without evening having to think. Usually it’s near impossible for me to find my way around, even when going somewhere I have attended many times before.
- My brain processes what is happening ‘around’ me, instead of constantly running and thinking about some ‘internal’ tangent.
- My thinking, it was like the tap handle has been tightened. I can regulate my thinking. The water is no longer gushing in every direction. It’s quiet. Easy to manage and store thoughts and memories.
- I feel great when I’m like this (minus the hang over).
- I can pay full attention to my wife. I can hear and respond to her in the moment, not as an afterthought. We talked for most the day. I can hear what she is saying and sense what she is feeling. As the day went on, it became harder, as my usual through process started to kick back in. By around 7pm I was getting closer to normal.
- I can remember details. For example, a hotel steward asked me for our room number, 1201 I said without having to think. This sort of detail would usually not be stored or accessible to me, but when I’m hungover, it was easy.
- It provided me with a greater awareness for how I normally am, and made my quite sad too, because 98% of the time I’m not like this. It was a reminder of what I am missing out on and the impact the my ADHD has on myself and my family.
My normal self
- I’m not 100% present.
- I’m not focused on what’s going on.
- I’m in my own head most of the time.
- I can’t listen to my wife and respond to her.
- I can’t listen well to anyone, unless the topic is high interest, and then I am a great listener.
- I have very poor long-term and working memory.
- I am always lost.
- I lose my keys, wallet, computer chargers.
- I have trouble remembering anything that is not ‘now’.
- I start each conversation with a person like it’s the first. Even with my wife on things we’ve discussed 5 times before.
- I forget details.
- I find it difficult to break apart and structure tasks without the help of visual aid tools.
- I have a constant flood of ideas, thoughts, noise
But as the night progresses, I regress into my old self. The inattentiveness, blocked thoughts, depression.
If this sounds like your situation then you’re probably wondering: Why did a hangover cure my ADHD?
- Why would I be able to focus and access/store memory when I’m hung over?
- What was it about a hangover that removed my ADHD effects for around 10 hours?
- How can I be like that all the time? (minus the hangover)